You Are So Important

As a wife, mother, sister, daughter, friend…

You are so important.

Never underestimate your role in your family and in your marriage.

Growing up I always knew my mother was the driving force in our family. She was everything to everyone and everywhere we never knew we needed her to be. I didn’t realize then, but every day as I grow and learn how to be a good wife, I’m forced to think about my mother and how important she is and how much I truly appreciate her.

Now as a wife myself, sometimes I am impressed by how much power/influence I have in my household. Certainly my husband is the head of the household for intents and purposes. He’s an excellent provider, husband, and friend but I’ve really come to realize he’d be lost without me. (Yea, I’d lost without him too…). But I say that to say our roles as women and as wives and mothers is so important. We impact our homes in such major ways. We have A LOT of power. Sometimes it just seems like we have a lot of responsibility, but with that responsibility comes a great deal of power.

Once you realize how much power you have and how truly important you are, you may be less likely to feel [as] unappreciated and more empowered. How? Well think about it, depending on how you run your household; you probably determine what your family eats, when they eat, if they have clean dishes to eat on, etc. Obviously in today’s marriage the traditional gender roles are shared and distributed differently. So even if you’re not the wife that cooks and cleans, one thing I’m sure you’ve learned by now is your mood dictates the mood of the home. Right? It’s crazy how that happens.  

Just know that whether you’re constantly cleaning up, getting spit-up on, asked a thousand questions, or solving world hunger, YOU are SO important. It’s a thankless job but know you’re family would be lost without you!

Welcome Back Autumn!

I got really excited thinking today was the first day of fall. Clearly it is not. Apparently Friday is the first day. Which is fine. I decided I was going to post this any way in anticipation of fall.

I lov fall. I love the weather, the colors, and most importantly the clothes. 

I just wanted to share with you some of my "Fall Faves" from my closet. These are peices that's I've had for years and I wear ALL the time. I add stuff every year to my fall wardrobe but these are staples!

First: My Diva Red Trenchcoat 

From: Forever 21

Year Purchased: 2006

I absolutely ADORE this jacket! My mom bought this for me and I am still impressed by it. That lady has great taste! I feel like a million bucks in this jacket. This picture really doesn't do it justice. I've had this since 2006 and it still looks great! I love it!

Second: My Leather Fonzie Jacket

From: Forever 21

Year Purchased: 2007

This jacket was probably my first crush. Since I was about 6 years old I've always wanted a jacket just like this. When I walked past it in the store my jaw dropped. I had to have it. It was the absolute last one in the store. I proudly bought it and wear it every chance I get. There is a very interesting/funny story behind this jacket that my husband LOVES to tell. 

Third: My Chic Chick Hat

From: Target

Year Purchased: 2007

I know you're thinking that hat doesn't look like much of anything but looks are very deceiving. Words cannot express how much I love this hat. Good hair day, bad hair day this hat makes me feel great. It's comfortable but it has a chic-ness about it. I know it seems far fetched but it does. You will often catch me in this hat with both of the previously pictured jackets. 

Last but DEFINITELY not least: My Fan-Tan-Stic Boots

From: Rackroom Shoes

Year Purchased: 2009

I would risk not matching if it meant I could wear these boots every day. I don't but I come close. These boots are in heavy rotation. These are probably the most inexpensive boots ever, definitely the least out of my collection but they are definitely my favorite. This is the first and only pair of shoes I've purchased from Rackroom. My sister and I happened to walk in to the store and they were having a great sale. We both bought these boots for $17. I love them!

As a woman, I always find it comforting to have things in my closet that I know no matter what, will make me feel and look great.

These are just a few of my all time faves!

Me and My Thoughts : Defining Success

According to Dictionary.com an accurate definition of success is as follows:

success  (səkˈsɛs)
— n
1.	the favourable outcome of something attempted
2.	the attainment of wealth, fame, etc
3.	an action, performance, etc, that is characterized by success
4.	a person or thing that is successful

While all the options accurately define success; 4 is not a useful definition, 3 is a little more subjective than I like, 2 is way to objective and potentially misleading to an average person of average wealth, that leaves 1 which is the best out of the four in my opinion.

It's no secret that success is a very subjective thing, subject to differing measurement standards. Defining success is important because it's something that you SHOULD do for yourself. Letting others define how successful you are based on their standards, will have very harmful effects.

Generally, as definition 2 indicates, people have a tendency to equate fame and wealth with success. I tend not to agree. If a person has come into fame and riches at the expense of their integrity and morals, is that really success? There are many who will say absolutely, and many who will say no way. That's fair and understandable.

As wives, mothers, sisters, daughters, and friends we carry heavy loads; other people's definitions of success should not be one. 

My definition of success if probably different from some one else's. As a law student "successful" is a term that is thrown around a lot, to point where I really have to question what it means. I question whether my definition of success has been altered. It's easy to feel stifled under other people's version and/or expectation of success. But I believe that success should not be measured by how many dollars you make, but by how light your heart feels. Chasing "success" at the expense of your health and happiness is far from winning. You don't have to have a Ph.D, J.D., M.D., M.B.A, etc. to be a success. 

Yes, set goals for yourself and work hard to reach them because it's something you want, and not necessarily because of what others will think. We all love praise and the sense of accomplishment, that is the reward for hard work. 

I just want to encourage anyone struggling with success or the lack there of, to really evaluate how you define success. Success for you might be selling your art work because that's what you love to do, or being a good mom, being a top attorney, or making your family proud. What ever it is decide it for yourself.  

What you do with your success, and who you are in your success is what really matters.

Thank You!

It appears that my readership has substantially increased and is increasing more and more by the day. I just wanted to say THANK YOU!

It means so much to know that people are reading what I have to say. Thank You for sharing links to the posts and leaving comments, I truly appreciate it. 

My hope is that you find this blog entertaining and useful in some aspect of your life. Please feel free to share your stories with me, ask questions, and post comments.

This blog means a lot to me. I may not always be politically correct so please charge it to my mind and not my heart. If something is offensive please email me and let me know. I can only write about what I know and experience but I would also love to show case other people's experiences as well. That's why I started this blog because I didn't see anything out there that catered to me.

I'm a suburban kid who went to college and got married. Nothing too boring, nothing too exciting. Yet I exist. I'm not rich, I'm not poor, I just survive. I blog in the hopes that you will find my posts relatable. I want to publicize the fact that WE are out there! We're young, married/engaged, women of color, just trying to keep it all together. We're rarely portrayed in the media and I think it's time for that to change. 

Join me here!

I appreciate you ALL, always,

 

Just Watched : Hall Pass / Things I Love : Awkward

This movie was ridiculous and funny at the same time. If you like "The Hangover" type of comedy you'll probably like this movie. 

I was thinking, "Would I ever my busband a hall pass? NOT A CHANCE!" Clearly this was just a movie and so the men realize how much the need and want their wives. In real life, you might not be so lucky. I guess if you get to the point where you feel you need a hall pass it's time for some serious discussion. 

I do think it is healthy to give a hall pass in the sense that husbands and wives should have time devoted to themselves and things they like to do. Like a spa day, playing ball with the fellas, shopping trips with the ladies, etc. That I agree with. Permission to sex it up with randoms... not so much.

Switching gears a little bit on to "Things I Love".

MTV's AWKWARD

This show comes on after Teen Mom and it is literally one of my favorite shows.

Generally I don't like shows like Gossip Girl that portray teenagers as highly sexually active people living adult lifestyles. I just don't agree with it, but this show, I love. It reminds me of "My So Called Life" with Claire Danes. I used to love that show. This is "My So Called Life" meets "Juno". It's quirky, witty, and will make you laugh.  It's nothing like that mess of a show "Skins". I never watched it but the previews looked too messy for me.