The Modern Mrs.

I am Jaclyn - living the life of a modern wife, mother of 3 and professional. I love to blog about life, marriage, motherhood, and interior design. My husband and I have been married for 7 years that have flown by! Seven years, three kids, and three homes later we are just as happy, crazy, and blessed as ever.

Tuesday
Mar042014

Let's Talk About It...

There’s something that has been on my mind for a while and I just need to let it out. When “Being Mary Jane” aired for the first time I was so excited. I love Gabrielle Union and I love watching black powerful women on TV. I enjoyed the movie and thoroughly looked forward to the show.

Let me take a second to mention that I was completely unimpressed and irritated with whole D Wade situation that erupted after their engagement. In short I just feel like we have a responsibility to be role models no matter what our status. I feel it’s irresponsible that D Wade fathered a child while on a "break". Ultimately that’s not my business but I am a proponent of spreading the message of safe sex.

Any way...

In the pilot movie, Mary Jane was fierce and independent. When she found out her lover was married she kicked him out. I was like “Girl Yes!” I loved it.

Well fast forward to January and after months of anticipation, I could not believe it. The episodes that have followed have been progressively more unbelievable. A story about proud mistress and the destruction of a family.

I love Gabby and I really want her show to be a success but after every episode I say, “I hate this show”.

I’m Avery. I’m the working mom and wife. The celebration of adultery blows my mind. (I know some people feel the same way about Scandal, but I won't get into that now). The whole “she’s fun, spontaneous, sexual…” Let me tell you something, that is a myth. Give ‘Mary Jane’ two children, a career, a husband, and house to care for… watch her spontaneity, perfect hair, and sex drive go out the window. (Not completely gone but you know what I mean). It’s not fair to put that type of pressure on a woman. The idea that you have to be on at times or your man just might cheat. It’s crazy. We all have to play our part and not let ourselves go but the comparison is just not fair.

However, in an effort to find something redeeming amidst the debauchery that is “Being Mary Jane”, you can learn a thing or two. No matter how weak an excuse it may be, it was revealing when the husband revealed in their marriage counseling session that his wife “didn’t see him” and that he got no validation and was constantly reminded of the fact that his wife married below her status. I thought that was interesting.

Like I said before it is unfair to think that as a woman we have to be ‘on’ all the time, but we must be careful not let ourselves and our love lives go. What I mean by that is, we do need to listen to our men and be in tune with them. Notice when they seem dissatisfied and attempt to cure it. I also think it’s important that our men realize the roles we play. It’s easy to take our position for granted especially when we are always handling things. Let them into your world. Take business trips or go away for a day or two. Show them how tiring it is to do all that we do. It can’t hurt. Above all else, what I have learned thus far is that we are responsible for the roles we play and consequences of our actions – good or bad. There is no excuse for adultery, but we must also not forget that we are in intimate relationships and we can’t forget the romance.

***

 I wrote this in February and have not seen the last 3 episodes and the season finale. I will update with my thoughts. 

Thursday
Jan302014

Flirty 30... 

I don't like dirt much so I'm going with Flirty 30 instead haha.

It’s a funny feeling when you realize you are about to really turn 30 and leave your 20’s behind. The 20s has been home to me. It’s all I know about adult hood. I’m excited to turn 30 and I have big expectations for the next decade of my life and the decades to come. Knocking at 30 has given me the opportunity to reflect on my 20’s. What a time they were (haha). I went from being a college student, to an educator, to a law student, to a fiancé, homeowner, wife, mother, professional… SO much has happened. There were so many amazing things yet a lot of things I would change. Not that I regret any of it, but knowing what I know now there were certain opportunities that I should’ve taken, friendships I should’ve made, money I should’ve saved… etc. Regardless, I’m here. I’m healthy. I’m happy. I’m blessed. Truth be told I’m just happy to be here and I cannot and will not complain.

I may not be as young as I used to be but I pray I’m not as old as I’ll ever be. So bring it on 30. I pray you are good to me. Be gentle.

My husband has a lot of things planned this weekend. I have no idea what we're doing but I’m looking forward to it.

I am so thankful and blessed to see another year of life and I am thankful God carried me through my 20’s. I pray for continued health, wellness, and happiness over my life and my family and friends. That’s all I can ask for.

Oh yes and as for my ‘30 Before 30’ list, I’m proud to say that I accomplished almost half of the list. Some inadvertently, but accomplished non-the-less. I promised my self to keep improving and keep investing in my spiritual, physical and mental wellness. I want to live positively in the moment and just enjoy this stage of life. 

Friday
Jan032014

2013 Review 

Happy New Year! I hope you and yours had a wonderful holiday season and will continue to have a happy new year.

2013 was a good year. Rather tame for use compared to 2012, but a great year none the less. Highlights of 2013:

Remained close to God

Family and friends continued to live well and be well

I had professional growth

Ava turned 1

Had our 1 yr anniversary in our home

My husband turned 30

My illustrious sorority turned 100! Oo-oop!

There were lots of little things that made the year great!

A few low lights...

My car got broken into while out with friends from WV

Found out a few people close to us are battling health issues

All in all live is good and God continues to be good and merciful. Going into this new year I just pray for peace, health, and love for all. I am not one to really make resolutions but being that I am turning 30 this year I have a lot of big goals for myself both personally and professionally. 

Best wishes, love, peace, and happiness in 2014

 

Thursday
Aug222013

Antoinette Tuff : Hero

Ms. Antoinette Tuff is truly a hero. She may not feel like it but she saved the lives of hundreds of children by risking her own. Listening to her tape and what she did to diffuse the situation gives me chills. It makes me wonder what I would do in that situation and if I would have the courage, patience, and love to handle the situation the way she did. Ms. Tuff's true character was revealed in how she handled this obviously troubled young man. She swallowed her fears and rose to the occasion with amazing grace. I am so very proud of her and thankful for the lives she saved. I truly believed she was just being herself and it's amazing to know people like her are out there.

I am thankful to God for placing the right people where He does when He does.

Thursday
Aug222013

Syd Did It!

I love that I know some pretty amazing people. It makes me feel like I’m amazing by association. A few of my friends are bloggers as well and I am truly a big fan of their work. Please check out my girl Sydney's post on paying off her student loans at iamsydmac.com

This is so big and I am so happy for her. It’s a big deal to see young people being financially responsible goal setters. I know that it will be ages before I pay off my student loans partially because I lack the discipline that Syd has. Even when it was inconvenient and downright depressing for her, she continued on because she had a goal. Achieving her goal has inspired me to make the most out of my money and do my best to take care of my debt. I do not have credit card debt but my student loans are basically a condo. Since my husband doesn’t have any student loans the one promise I made to him was that I would never make him pay my student loans. It’s a principle thing for me. He worked hard and did the right things not to have them so I don’t feel like he should pay mine.

Truthfully if it wasn’t for the salon visits, clothes for my baby, and décor shopping for my house, I could really pour the majority if my pay into paying these loans off, really all of it. I want freedom from these loans so I need to make more sacrfices, but it's so hard. Since Syd’s big announcement I’ve decided to create a plan of my own and really work toward student loan freedom!