The Modern Mrs.

 

 My name is Jaclyn and I am a 30 year old, married, mother of a 1 year old baby girl. I love to blog about love, life, marriage, motherhood, and everything in between. Follow me as I chronicle the adventures of my modern life. These are my originial thoughts, opinions, and experiences. I am not an expert... I just live.


Events
Friday
Jan032014

2013 Review 

Happy New Year! I hope you and yours had a wonderful holiday season and will continue to have a happy new year.

2013 was a good year. Rather tame for use compared to 2012, but a great year none the less. Highlights of 2013:

Remained close to God

Family and friends continued to live well and be well

I had professional growth

Ava turned 1

Had our 1 yr anniversary in our home

My husband turned 30

My illustrious sorority turned 100! Oo-oop!

There were lots of little things that made the year great!

A few low lights...

My car got broken into while out with friends from WV

Found out a few people close to us are battling health issues

All in all live is good and God continues to be good and merciful. Going into this new year I just pray for peace, health, and love for all. I am not one to really make resolutions but being that I am turning 30 this year I have a lot of big goals for myself both personally and professionally. 

Best wishes, love, peace, and happiness in 2014

 

Thursday
Aug222013

Antoinette Tuff : Hero

Ms. Antoinette Tuff is truly a hero. She may not feel like it but she saved the lives of hundreds of children by risking her own. Listening to her tape and what she did to diffuse the situation gives me chills. It makes me wonder what I would do in that situation and if I would have the courage, patience, and love to handle the situation the way she did. Ms. Tuff's true character was revealed in how she handled this obviously troubled young man. She swallowed her fears and rose to the occasion with amazing grace. I am so very proud of her and thankful for the lives she saved. I truly believed she was just being herself and it's amazing to know people like her are out there.

I am thankful to God for placing the right people where He does when He does.

Thursday
Aug222013

Syd Did It!

I love that I know some pretty amazing people. It makes me feel like I’m amazing by association. A few of my friends are bloggers as well and I am truly a big fan of their work. Please check out my girl Sydney's post on paying off her student loans at iamsydmac.com

This is so big and I am so happy for her. It’s a big deal to see young people being financially responsible goal setters. I know that it will be ages before I pay off my student loans partially because I lack the discipline that Syd has. Even when it was inconvenient and downright depressing for her, she continued on because she had a goal. Achieving her goal has inspired me to make the most out of my money and do my best to take care of my debt. I do not have credit card debt but my student loans are basically a condo. Since my husband doesn’t have any student loans the one promise I made to him was that I would never make him pay my student loans. It’s a principle thing for me. He worked hard and did the right things not to have them so I don’t feel like he should pay mine.

Truthfully if it wasn’t for the salon visits, clothes for my baby, and décor shopping for my house, I could really pour the majority if my pay into paying these loans off, really all of it. I want freedom from these loans so I need to make more sacrfices, but it's so hard. Since Syd’s big announcement I’ve decided to create a plan of my own and really work toward student loan freedom!

Wednesday
Aug212013

Sitting Side Ways...

I really like the sideways cross necklace fad right now. I think they are pretty dope looking. I saw a good deal for one on Groupon and I was tempted to click buy, when it occurred to me to look up the meaning. In my life there are a lot of things I don’t understand and I always search to find meaning. I tend to stay away from things that I do not know or understand its meaning. Call it what ever you want but I’m not a fan of inviting unnecessary negative influences into my life. This is true for music, art, jewelry, etc. Though I could be better about the type of music and certain shows I watch, I do try to be mindful of what I let enter my heart and mind. It is very acceptable in our culture to wear jewelry that has cultural and spiritual significance to cultures other than our own. As a person with distinct non-American cultural heritage, sometimes I honestly think it is or could be construed as disrespectful. I’m not talking about every day cultural outfits like saris, or kilts – I’m talking about things of cultural and more so spiritual significance.

I grew up over seas and I was exposed to a lot of things and we brought back a lot of souvenirs. One day a dear friend of ours came to our house and she questioned my mom about a Buddha figurine she had. In fact she had several. They meant nothing to her other than they symbolized our travels through Japan. Our friend began to explain who/what  Buddha is. My mom immediately removed the figurines. She didn’t give much thought to things she acquired overseas when we were traveling because we didn't understand the significance and meaning that certain cultural/spiritual items possess. More importantly, the relationship between those meanings and the life we are constantly trying to perfect in God through our faith in Jesus Christ.

The thing is, I do a lot of bad stuff. Things that I am not proud of. I have bad thoughts. I curse people out in my head. I laugh at inappropriate things. I drink my wine, yesss I drink my wine, child. I bob my head to unsavory music and watch violent vulgar shows. I try y’all but the truth is I’m a flawed individual trying to make it to heaven. I oft refrain from deeply religious conversations, not because I am ashamed but because I am far from a scholar and I’d hate to lead some one astray. I defend my faith to the point that I feel qualified to do so and but I do not deny the flawed rationales of fellow believers. I am a lover of God. I profess that Jesus is my Savior and without Him I’d be dust. I am serious about my belief in God and even with all things that I do wrong; my love, trust, adoration, and worship of Him is what I do right.

With that being said I’d hate to do anything that would disrespect my God. I like to know what sins I am committing. I’d hate to commit a sin and not even know it. I like to keep account of such things. Not saying that I like to boldly sin but I at least want to know what to repent for.

Now here’s the thing. I don’t know that the side ways cross is disrespectful but I also don't know that it isn’t. I don’t think that it is... BUT, there’s a little too much ambiguity to it’s meaning for me to be comfortable wearing it when I have several up right “traditional” crosses to choose from. Is this the overly sensitive, over analytical Christian criticism that we are all too familiar with? For me, no. It’s the ambiguity. If some one were to ask me, I don’t feel confident that I could give a meaningful enough explanation, let alone a correct one. That makes me uncomfortable. To be honest the best explanation that I could give is that I think it’s super cute and … well trendy. The word/thought of trendy gives me pause because Christianity is not supposed to be … trendy. It’s truth, it’s light, it’s LIFE.

The truth is I would never judge anyone for wearing a sideways cross. In fact I like seeing people wear it. I see it as a symbol as my faith. I do. But again I don’t know for sure that it is. I liked the fact that celebrities were embracing it and wearing it but then I quickly realized that celebrities embrace a lot of things that are not agreeable to me. I did some research and I found nothing conclusive but I found enough to give me the courage to say it’s not for me solely on the basis that aside from being cute, I do not have much to say about its meaning. 

What do yall think about side ways crosses. Is it being over analyzed? Should I just get one and wear it in faith? I still really like them, haha.

** I do want to say that I wanted to include some of the sites where I found information on this topic but honestly I was disgusted by some of the comments by "Christians". I do not want to give those people a platform or give anyone a reason to read the foolishness they post. I did find some good information but I did not want to link to any pages without checking out the full site to ensure that I agreed with the majority of things that were being said. Unfortunately that is the nature of this business. I encourage you to check it out for yourselves though.**

Wednesday
Aug212013

One Year in the Hood... Motherhood that is

I wrote this a little while ago but I wanted to wait to post it. Since Ava had her first official "cold" I figured it could post it now.

So I officially have one year of motherhood under my belt and what a year it was. I learned a lot obviously and it was truly and unforgettable experience. During Ava’s first year I am very proud and blessed to say that she never got sick, had a temperature, or diaper rash… nothing. I wish I could say honestly that it is due to the fact that I am just an awesome mom, but clearly that’s not the case. I imagine prayer has a lot to do with it. It could also be the breastfeeding and the fact that she was overdue. I’ve read that babies that stay in the womb until 40 weeks or longer get the full benefit of antibodies from the mother and if you couple that with breastfeeding, the likelihood that you’ll have a healthy baby increases. I don’t know how on the mark that is. I know people who breastfed longer than I did who’s babies got sick several times. It could be what the mother ate. I really don’t know and there is danger in making too broad of a summation on why this happens. Now my baby does suffer from eczema and did have a runny nose before but no cold. Again not saying this is due to anything I did or didn’t do but I wanted to share a few things I did during Ava’s first year that may have contributed.

Hair Washing:

Ava was born with a copious amount of hair. It was beautiful and I liked washing it and making sure it was nice and clean. I suffered from chronic ear infections as a child and I was very afraid of that for Ava. I didn’t want her to have them and the potential risks associated with them. Luckily for me, though it seemed I had an ear infection all the time as a child I never had it severe enough to warrant getting tubes put in but I know people who did. One day as I was washing Ava I realized I really did’t need to wash her hair the way I would my own. She doesn’t really sweat or use hair products. I reasoned that the less water contact with her ears the better. I know the body naturally flushes water through the ears, nose, and throat however we’ve all had the experience of having water trapped. Not to mention during my pregnancy I used a nasal spray that shot water through my nose and some crazy way got stuck in my inner ear. It was the worst pain. Excruciating to be exact.

So instead I would shampoo her hair once a week and in the colder months every 10-12 days. I would shampoo her hair and lather it then I would wet a wash cloth and wipe her hair clean. It sounds weird but it worked. I had to wipe it several times but no water dripped down. I felt accomplished; her hair was clean and her ears we dry! Also as standard practice after every bath whether I washed her hair or not I promptly put a hat on her head. I know that is very old school but I stuck to it. I did that until she was able to take the hat off herself which was around 4-5 months.

Brushing Teeth:

I’ve been brushing Ava’s teeth with a real toothbrush since she was 8 months. She had a lot of teeth by then. Prior to that I would wipe her gums and her tongue with a wet rag. That aided in keeping  away thrush (which is an oral yeast infection some babies get due to the thickening of milk on their tongue). Also to me it just promoted healthy oral care. Luckily now it’s part of her routine and she LOVES brushing her teeth, granted it’s nothing extensive a few swipes across her teeth. She likes to do it herself so after I do the initial brushing I let her do the finishing touches. I also buy her water with flouride.

Diaper Changes:

I really feared the inevitable diaper rash. I just thought it looked very uncomfortable but I know it’s very common. My mom told me when Ava was born to put Vaseline on her before I put the diaper back on. I’ve been faithfully putting Vaseline on her for 13 months and not one diaper rash! I’m not sure if the Vaseline is the reason but I do no notice that when I change her the Vaseline creates a barrier between her skin and her mess so the skin doesn’t get irritated. These are things they don’t tell you at the hospital. They don’t want you putting anything on the baby anywhere but sometimes you have to go old school because it works.

Must Haves:

HUMIDIFIER/MiSTER: I have both and humidifier and a mister. I use the mister in the summer because it provides cool air and the humidifier in the winter. Honestly I like my mister better and use it year round. I use the mister if I thought Ava had been exposed to someone who was sick or I just felt like it. It kept her from being congested. I would put some baby vicks on her chest and feet and turn on the mister and I never had a cough out of that girl. I know getting sick is a part of life, but there is so little you can do for an infant to provide relief so I felt prevention was the key. I was extremely particular about cleaning things she touched and wiping her hands after contact and when in public. I also was vigilant about washing my hands and keeping everything clean.

Looking back I see why I was tired I was doing a whole lot! Haha. To me it was worth it. As an added benefit, when Ava was sleeping in the room with us and I had the mister on, I would wake up with the most flawless skin! It was to the point where people were really commenting on how incredible my skin was. It almost looked as glowing as when I was pregnant. It’s the same thing they use at the spa when you get your facials! So I can’t lie some nights once she was in her own room I’d take the mister in my room for some true beauty sleep.

Just wanted to share. It wasn't a perfect year but it was a good year. She bumped her head more than I would've liked but we all survived. As a mom you ultimately just have to do what works and what's best for you and yours.