So here’s the thing I finally started my full time job. It is an awesome blessing and I couldn’t be happier! As much as I loved my days with my daughter, the need to develop professionally was persistent. I was excited when I finally got the job offer. In fact I recieved three job offers at the same time!
I started my new position on Monday. The days leading up to my first day in this position had me wracked with mommy guilt. I thought for sure Monday morning would be drenched with tears. My ambitious side was so excited about the path my career is taking, the mommy/wife side felt guilty. Ten years ago - no even 2 years ago if you would’ve asked me I never would have imagined I would be this person who felt guilty about what I began to feel was an abandonment of my family. Weird right? But I did, I felt guilty. Intensely so. I felt as if my child would grow up and feel like I chose my career over her. I immediately began to second guess my decision. My mom was always available. Due to my dad being in the military it was essential that my mom be available to us. She either worked from home or in the schools, so it always seemed like she was there. I began to think that is why I turned out the way that I did (reasonably well), and that my daughter would miss out on that. I wondered if I could be the mom I want to be and be the professional that I was educated to be. I went over it in my head over and over again.
In comes my mom.
FYI: You never get too old to benefit from your parents' wisdom. My mom basically told me to suck it up and keep it moving because I have student loans to pay … haha. She reassured me that the feeling was very natural and everyone goes through it. She told me that there is nothing wrong with working and it doesn’t make me a bad mother. She added that aside from work I ALWAYS have my daughter, which is true. It all made me feel much better. On Monday I proudly strode into work and instantly knew that I had made the right decision.
I think a large part of being a working mom is prioritizing. No matter what, my family comes first. Luckily I work for a company that values family and is very flexible and understanding.
This week has been long but it feels good. Thankfully I am not too exhausted when I get home to enjoy my time with my family.
I really enjoy my job so far and the perks that come along with being in the executive suite. It is truly a blessing to be in this position and I am beyond thankful.